Christy and I first met when I was fresh out of college and beginning my career with Abel Construction in 2004. We were both in the design department. We shared an office. She worked while I talked. ;) We became friends quickly and did what friends do. We went for coffee, took a pottery class, went to the movies, laughed, cried, encouraged.....we saw each other through different things in each other's lives, both happy and sad. I was at her house the night my family thought I had been kid-napped! (I'll keep that story for another post). In many ways she was (and is) the awesome big sister I never had. After working for Abel for three years, I took a job with an architectural firm. Christy and I remained in touch and continued our friendship, still getting together for dinner, hanging out at her house (with her husband, Jim, and son, Dillon). I even moved around the corner from her back in March and we'd go for walks.
But life changed radically for Christy and her family last Christmas. They left about a week before Christmas last year for a family vacation to Venice, Italy. They have friends that live there and they were going to spend Christmas with them. Christy and Jim (both of whom are architects) had studied architecture in Venice when they were in college. They loved Venice and were so excited to get be there again.
The day after Christmas, while still in Venice, they had to take Jim to the Hospital. He had turned Jaundice - even his eyes were yellow. After some exploring, test, and the placement of a stint into his bile duct, the surgeon speculated that Jim had Cancer of the Common Bile Duct, but the tests for cancer cells came back negative.
They remained in Venice much longer than they had originally planned and finally returned to the States on January 10. They went straight to Boston to see a specialist. He confirmed their worst fears. It was, in fact, Cancer of the Common Bile Duct. After starting Chemo in Boston, they finally got to come back to Louisville on February 1. After a medi-flight to Louisville, Jim was admitted into the hospital here, but at least, after 6 weeks away, they were home.
Jim endured multiple surgeries, tons of Chemo, lots of fluid build-up, weight-loss, unbearable pain at times, not being able to eat for months and months (food would not pass through his system any more), and living with the knowledge that his cancer was terminal and would one day take his life. Through all of this though, he had more drive and determination than I have ever seen a person have. He did not let this disease get him down. He fought. He fought very hard. He continued life almost as normal. He wasn't able to work, because he was so worn-out at times, but he tended to life at home with an undeniable strength. He finished building bookcases that he had started before he was sick, he cooked meals for his family (even though he couldn't eat them himself), and the family got to take several short trips together - the most recent was a weekend in Red River Gorge at the beginning of November. Jim amazed Christy by setting the pace as they went hiking. He hiked three different trails, one of which ended with 79 steps up!
That trip would be their last though. Jim's condition started getting worse shortly after they returned home. He went back into the hospital for a time and got to come home right before Thanksgiving. While he was in the hospital, and barely able to talk, he was making plans for the Thanksgiving meal, making sure Christy thawed the turkey in time and planning the rest of the menu.
Jim continued to worsen and this past Saturday around one in the morning, Jim passed quietly and peacefully in his home, with Christy, Dillon and other family surrounding him. The world lost a talented, self-less, strong, humorous man. And my dear, sweet friend lost her husband. My heart has been absolutely aching for her and for Dillon. Words fail me when I think of how to comfort her. I just tell her that I love her and I'm here for her.
Jim will be laid to rest today, in a matter of hours. Please pray for comfort, peace and happy memories of Jim for Christy and Dillon (who is a 6th grader) as they say goodbye today. Dillon wrote and is going to give the Eulogy for his dad. Such a strong young man, much like his father.
Christy's sister, Kathy, wrote a beautiful Obituary for Jim here.
