In the Middle of the Jordan

Wow. Beth Moore really brought it tonight at Bible Study. At least she brought exactly what I needed to hear from God! Tonight's study looked at Joshua 4 when the Israelites crossed the Jordan River on dry ground after the Lord caused the river to "be cut off and stand up in a heap" - how crazy is that?? (exerted from chapter 3, verse 13). Chapter 4 tells us how there were 12 men, one from each tribe, chosen to go to the middle of the Jordan River while the water was "cut off" (or separated in two) and each of them select a stone to be used later as a Memorial to what God had done. Beth made a point to stop here and talk about where the Lord had those 12 men select the stones from. The Lord told them to go to the middle of the river to get the stones. Why would God want them to select from the middle? There they are, the Israelites, standing in the middle of the river, almost like their half-way point between Egypt (a land where they were not free, but persecuted and held as slaves) and Canaan (their Promised Land). They were looking one way at Egypt and saying even though it was not a fun place to be, it was comfortable and predictable. And then they were looking the other way at Canaan and envisioning all the promises from the Lord, but realizing they were just a little bit out of reach at the moment, that the road ahead was still a long one. They had two choices......go back to the old, unfulfilled, life of agony and despair. -OR- Remember how God had taken care of them thus far, the provisions He given them and choose to be hopeful that He would come through yet again and deliver them into the Promised Land just like He said He would. That's where I am right now. Right in the middle of the Jordan River......looking one way at my former self and all the strongholds that keep me paralyzed, all the fear, all the doubts, all the sinful pleasures, all the manipulation, all the things that have bound me and kept me there because they are habits, even habits that I hate, but they have somehow become safe and comfortable to me. Then I look the other way. When I look the other way, I see the hope of what things could be. I see growth, change, redemption, love, . And although sometimes it feels like I'm chasing a figment of my own imagination, I see a life that is more than I could have ever dreamed in my most wonderful daydreams. I know how the Israelites felt though. They look over there towards Canaan...but they can't quite see it yet, it's just a little too far away. So they wonder if they are chasing the wind or if they are going to be disappointed when they get there and instead of Milk and Honey it's more like Tap Water and Mayonnaise. They had to wonder when they do reach Canaan, if it will really live up to what they have pictured for all those years in their heads. They wonder if they would really liked to have stayed in Egypt....even though they were slaves, they lead lives of certainty.....they would certainly be serving food or certainly be cleaning the palace or certainly be fixing the chariot. But continuing on the journey to Canaan was full of uncertainties. Maybe they even wondered at times if they were really heading in the right direction. Is this really the path that God asked them to take.....did they hear Him right? Maybe He said to take a left back there because Canaan doesn't seem like it's getting any closer. I bet they wondered if there really was a Canaan sometimes.....does it really exist? Or is it like the 4th floor swimming pool at my 3-story high school that we sent freshman looking for? Because they had to wonder sometimes if something so wonderful really did exist. Yes, I feel a kindred spirit with those Israelites. I understand their doubts and insecurities about heading on towards Canaan. I know the fear of the unknown that they were experiencing. I know the tinge of uneasiness in the hearts about whether they were really heading in the right direction. I know the anxiety they felt about being let down if they really never made it there. But I also know the rest of their story. I know that they did indeed make it to their Promised Land and it was everything God said it would be! Joshua 21:45 tells us that "Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." So this is my hope. As I stand in the middle of my Jordan, feeling discouraged and worn, but hopeful and content all at once, I choose to "hurry over" as Beth said and continue striving for the things the Lord has promised to me. While I don't know how long it will take, I do know that the Lord has a lot in mind for me and that it will go a lot easier if I just choose now to keep plugging away and remember all His previous blessings and provisions in my life. And I can rest assured that following Him into my Promised Land will be so very much more wonderful than going back to Egypt and my former self!