Okay, so I decided that I wanted to try and keep my blog up to date on more of a daily basis.....nothing special, but just writing about some of my day to day activities and stuff......just so I can look back one day and see where I was and what I was up to and maybe see how I've grown (hopefully). :)
I got two new Cd's in the mail last week.....it was a pre-buy deal that
268generation.com was offering. For $25 you got three Cd's.....
David Crowder Band's "Remedy" (which also includes a live DVD),
Charlie Hall's "The Bright Sadness" and
Chris Tomlin's "Hello Love." The first two arrived last week and I absolutely love them. The third will arrive next week. Charlie Hall is edging his way up my list of favorite artists.
I especially love Charlie's song "My Brightness"
It goes....
"Well I've been hit from every corner, I've been thrown from side to side and I'm cracked up on the inside so I come to you for life.
Your presence always heals me so I want to drink it in and you know where we're going, God, and you know where I've been.
And your love is like a rock when I'm spinning around.
Yesterday I felt so angry and today so insecure and I hate it that I wrestle with the God that I adore.
And your love is like a rock when I'm spinning around.
I know less about you but my heart loves you so much more. You're the bright in sadness, you're my brightness.
I wish this thing could pass from me but I'm wanting what you want. So bring me high or bring me low just hold me in your love.
And your love is like a rock when I'm spinning around."
Something just hits me in that song....and says what I want to say. As long as I'm here the Lord's not through with me yet and I know in time I'll figure out just what His purpose for me might be. As I look into the unknown that is my future, my prayer and my hope is simply that last line of the last verse...."bring me high or bring me low just hold me in your love." And I know He will. That's what makes all of this so scarily exciting. Part of the unknown is very scary because it is just that...unknown. But the other part is so exciting and I just get crazy with anticipation waiting for whatever it might be. I really want to be open to whatever it is the Lord is preparing me for. Whether He takes me across town, across the country or across seas, my heart just wants to please Him and live for Him and I don't want to do it half-heartedly. I want Him to have it all.
Until the Lord makes it clear in my life what is coming next, I want to continue to serve Him and make Him famous in the here and now. So that means working faithfully at my job and loving my co-workers the way He would. It means hanging out with friends and figuring out together what life is all about and pouring my life into theirs in hopes that they see Jesus in me. It means loving people just because they are people (even when they cancel appointments to look at my house!) because after all.....it's all in God's timing. And I can't do anything to hurry Him along just because I'm ready for it now. And I've said this to a good friend before and I remind myself now, that God didn't teach me patience for no reason. And part of learning patience is having to practice it.
I'm really tired of practicing patience, but it's where the Lord has me right now. So, I wait expectantly and with hope and a smile on my face because I know that following Him and being patient even when I don't want to be is the only place I really want to be anyway.
